1. |
How to Feel
04:36
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A foreign feeling
Of not feeling at all
A first true loss
My immediate default
The ebb and flow of guilt and closure treks on
How should I feel now that you’re gone?
You gave me light
You gave me purpose in life
But my light's been smothered out for far too long
Should I feel more?
Should I endure?
Should I feel more?
Should I endure?
She holds the answers
She holds the answers
Time will heal they say
But what’s to heal when there’s nothing to feel?
I’ve been dreaming awake running through the motions once again
Time will tell if I’ll ever feel
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2. |
The Courier
05:17
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Feel that breath down the back of your neck
Hair stands straight up
We’re almost aligned
I can feel it
I can feel you
I can feel everything
Can’t quite make it
Don’t quite get it
Is this some kind of sign?
Two bodies drawn in course
One present, one before
Gaps lengthen between what was once conjoined
Now is lost
Time is distant
In this map of life
When traveled anomalies are born
Out of time
Sewing the seams of my future from a torn past
The stitching at the closure frail and relaxed
The speed of the needle runs faster than blood
From riches to rags quilts soaked in mud
And I’m wishing I could warn you
I’m wishing I could warn you
Wishing to send a message
To a preexisting version of oneself
To conjoin two shells
I’ll be here for a while
So I might as well get comfortable
The older that I get
The further that I seem to be
From sending a message to my former self
The Shadows lurking every time I peak behind
The tales come to me in dreams
But the dreams are bleeding into reality
Are you trying to tell me…
Are you trying to warn me of something?
To conjoin two shells
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3. |
Sonder
07:15
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Waves come crashing down
I feel everything but my own self
Your pain is now mine
I’ll be your guiding light
When yours won’t shine
But my lights not shining either
My fingers go numb again
This heart keeps getting bigger
Too much love is now a sin because
Too many hearts to mend
With no time on this heart spent
Take it all on
Take it all on
Shoulders reduced to ruin
Better get used to losing
I’ve been drained
No time for me
The sudden realization the extras have their own roles
They star in their own plays and struggle with dark days
I’ll take this all on
Too many hearts to mend
With no time on this heart spent
Downing the tears of my peers, I’ve been hurting forever
Too much weight shoulders left to rubble
And I’ve been out in this sea for far too long
Ears still ringing with others' songs
And their stories
They never come to an end
Too many hearts to mend
With no time on this heart spent
I can’t keep track of it all the tales turn into nightmares
And nightmares into panic attacks
Who’s problem is everyone’s problem is now mine
And I want nothing to do with it
Why do you people confide?
Why tell me your deepest fears and show me your open wounds
Why tell me these things you keep locked deep inside?
Broken soul broken soul broken soul
Come find a home
Seek peace and comfort in knowing I’m broken too
But you extort this from me
Keep me from feeling my own self
Keep me from feeling at peace
But I’m not one to complain
I’m not one to complain
I’m not one to complain
And I’ll be one to refrain from pushing off your demons
And lying before I leave
Take it all on
I’ll take all of it on
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4. |
Sundial
08:05
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Gnawing at me
Not the fact that I’m flawed
But the fact that I have been for so long
As time goes on
The kinks were never worked out
No change its stagnant
An imprint in space
Cemented inside this mold season after season
Just waiting to be reborn
Every day moving through the motions just to keep a smile
Time stands still when there’s no light for the sundial
There’s no change
Dwelling on nothing
Picking apart everything
Searching for something
That doesn’t exist
It burns faster than I remember
Slow-cooked when younger, now darker than ever
Slipping away winter by winter, racking up like scoffs to a beggar
I’m trying hard to keep a smile; I’m trying so hard to keep a smile.
I’m caught in slow motion
Stuck in past thoughts
Will it always be like this?
The thought of it always being like this is terrifying
The thought of my past being my forever future is terrifying
The future is terrifying
If I could learn to not be so afraid
And not think of what could be terrifying
Then maybe just maybe I could take a breath and feel normal
But I do this to myself
The issue is myself
What’s truly terrifying is myself
Listen to me…
Myself, myself, myself
You would think I love it
You would think I’m some kind of narcissist
You would think I’m in vain, in love with the idea of me
I’m always rambling about myself
Maybe that’s what’s terrifying
Not me, but the obsession I have with who is me
I’m obsessed with dwelling on nothing
I’m obsessed with picking apart everything
I’m obsessed with the introspective feelings
That come from self judgment and loathing
Will this fear be here forever?
Will I always be terrified, petrified, afraid of myself?
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5. |
Nighthawk
07:55
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You think about you say
But you got no brain to think
Actions and thoughts dictated
By the love potion you drink
But that potions poison
And you don’t care, don’t blink
Looking at life through rose-colored glasses
Your hell looks bright pink
So you keep on lying to yourself
Say you’re well
But you’re living in hell
And I know this cause you think like me
Cut me you’ll see
We both bleed the same
When you lay your head at night
Keep reassuring yourself I’m alright
Palms pressed tight, chin up to the sky
Whatever helps you sleep at night
But you can’t escape it
Every tap on the window, a recap in your mind
Every memory surfacing, reflections in eyes
And it comes every night, never leaving your side
Whatever helps you succumb to slumber
But you can never escape
the burden only grows
Commence the commemoration
The ceremony of forever
The nighthawk is always there
A mnemonic endeavor
My blood is gone,
My family tree left to rot
No one left to carry a legacy
And it keeps you up
I know this cause it haunts me too
The nighthawk in the window is peering through
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Grim Waters Appleton, Wisconsin
Appleton, WI
Wisconsin Alternative Rock/Metal.
Nate Berkley -
Guitar/Vocals
Will Kulkarni - Bass/Vocals
Corey Palkowski - Guitar
Cam Anderson - Drums
... more
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